Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
