Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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