my shit smells like andre
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
