reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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