i just wanna soil my oats bro
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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