yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
