So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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