so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Randomize
