He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
