I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
