P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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