This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
The adults are the big ones right?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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