I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
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