We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
