the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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