she was so not down for the gang bang
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize