either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
