I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
