her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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