life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
