That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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