the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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