Yo dont text me then not text me
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
