addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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