Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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