I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I have feelings that need drinking.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
