I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
he fucked my hip out of place.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
