I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
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