R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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