She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
