3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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