Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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