Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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