There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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