no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Quick, to the slutcave!
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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