I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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