Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
