dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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