I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
