And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
