The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Brb crying the tears of my youth
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
