I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
