I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
