i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
