I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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