i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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