no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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