but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
