Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
