Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
