Pappa wants mamma naked
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
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